The Dazzle #3
A reminder not to dim your light
I’ve been thinking a lot this week about being ‘too much’. Some people are concerned that they are ‘not enough’, whereas I worry about being too loud and too blundering, that I am taking up too much space. My core belief is that simply by existing, I am getting in someone’s way or using resources that somebody else deserves much more. I’ve been trying to challenge these thoughts this year, which is in part why I’ve called this newsletter ‘the Dazzle’, in the hope of reminding everyone to shine unapologetically. I’ve needed to listen to that advice myself this week. As a wise friend said to me on Wednesday: “don’t hang around people who make you want to dim your light; spend time with those who love being lit up by you.” I thought this was lovely. I put it here in the hope it makes you feel lovely, too.
Some other things that have made me feel dazzling this week:
A glorious frock This week, I shot some new byline photos to accompany an exciting new project for the Telegraph that I will tell you about VERY SOON (hint, it involves a new column and a new podcast). I am a size 20, and whenever I arrive at a photo shoot, there’s usually quite slim pickings (pardon the pun) - a selection of frocks that Hyacinth Bouquet might have liked. Can you imagine my joy when I arrived to find a rail full of beautiful dresses from Molby the Label? I am obsessed with their clothes, because they are fun and flattering and made to order, going up to a size 26. When I’m wearing their clothes, I feel like a goddess. A comfortable goddess, crucially.
M&S running gear I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s got really cold. I am training for a completely ridiculous challenge that I will also tell you about VERY SOON (God, I’m so terrible at keeping my trap shut), and this gilet has kept my boobs warm all weekend as I ploughed through freezing fog (frog?). I mean, I am NOT a gilet person, but I have made an exception for this one, not least because the extra pockets are really useful for things like lip balm and Haribo.
Steaming hot Epsom Salts baths ‘Tis the season to sit for hours in a piping hot bath. By adding Epsom Salts, I can legitimately tell myself that it is part of my exercise recovery.
Tony from Hollyoaks managing what no politician has Look, I am really into I’m A Celeb this year, against my better judgement. In my opinion, every penny of that £1.5million ITV spent on Nigel Farage was worth it, because they’ve shown the country what a crashing bore he actually is. Maybe he’s a character in politics, but he’s pretty dull by showbiz standards. Also, he’s spent his whole political career criticising others for not getting things done properly. Then he arrives in the jungle and… doesn’t get anything done at all. I appreciate that being locked in a coffin with 50 rats is not fun, but he really ballsed up that challenge by, um, closing his eyes as he tried to open all padlocks. “Here’s the locksmith!” joked Nick Pickard later in the episode, and in three words, Tony from Hollyoaks pricked the former UKIP leader’s pomposity in a way no politician has quite managed. Nick to win!
Sober fun I don’t know if anyone here has read Glorious Rock Bottom, my book about realising I was an alcoholic and an addict and that I needed to get sober. But if you have, you might remember Holly, my best friend from rehab. I saw her this week and in the madness of Christmas, where everyone seems to be downing booze and partying hard, it was so nice to have fun with someone who gets that going out doesn’t have to involve gallons of alcohol. I love you Holly. (PS, please do use the comments section below this to big up someone you love who has cheered you up this week!)
That’s it for this week. Stay dazzling,
Bryony xx
Your first paragraph really resonated with me. My parents grandparents and Aunty were always saying "shhh!" or, keep you voice down darling or, we don't need to know what your feeling/thinking all of the time and don't show off! I'm 64 and the words are still being whispered in my ear (even from the grave). It's a difficult habit to break, being a light bulb!! X Thanks for a great Insta page and for "All is well, my darling xx
I so relate to this post. Thanks for writing. I have been told I’m too something my whole life. I feel like every single time someone said you’re too whatever is seared into my memory. Too tall, too big, too intense, too intellectual, too intimidating - because of the previous things, too introverted, too loud - when I’m not being introverted, and the most frequent from when I was capable of remembering. Marion you are just way too sensitive.
So now at almost 60, I allow myself to be as introverted as I feel, I only socialize when I want to which isn’t very often and people seem to like the sensitivity especially when they’re telling me their problems. I usually don’t mind, but boundaries are something I’m still working on :) Happy Sunday to all.