The Dazzle #4

This week, I've decided to embrace overwhelm, instead of fighting it.

Embracing the overwhelm this week while signing copies of Mad Woman

Sometimes I think I’ve spent most of my life railing against myself. It’s been 43 years of asking variations of: why am I not prettier/smaller/quieter/brainier/richer/funnier/sexier/fitter/healthier/perkier and on and on and on (or er and er and er) it goes. Every time I swat one unrealistic expectation away, another arrives, usually hiding itself under the guise of ‘self-improvement’. Indeed, I’ve spent all week focusing on the parts of me that I have decided are sub-standard. Why can’t I deal with the stress of living in our house during its renovation? Why am I not more grateful, more patient? Why can’t I do everything I’ve agreed to do, even though it is quite clear right now that I’ve agreed to do way too much? Why am I such a weak-willed people-pleaser? Why can’t I be more grown-up, more boundaried, more…

… Enough! I can’t take this voice any more. I’ve decided that instead of trying to improve myself, I’m going to go fully radical and just accept myself. I am stressed. I am overwhelmed. I am going to need to cancel at least 60 per cent of the things that are in my diary, and to hell with the consequences. I am not a professional juggler, so here I am, dropping all the balls. Watch as they fall at my feet, and roll off in completely different directions, never to be seen again. Bye-bye balls! I don’t know why I’ve been hanging onto you anyway! Ah, isn’t that nice? I’m standing a little taller already.

Here’s some other things that have cheered me up this week:

Finding out I’m going on tour! Sort of. I mean, not like Madonna. There won’t be any writhing with topless dancers (but maybe there should be?) I’m doing two ‘Mad Mornings’ at Waterstones in February to celebrate the launch of my next book, Mad Woman. The ticket price includes a signed copy of the book, a goodie bag, and a morning of comforting conversation with me and some special guests. If you can’t make either date, Waterstones also have a load of signed copies that you can pre-order. I know this because I spent five hours signing them on Wednesday! Link here.

These words of wisdom from the psychotherapist Ban Hass

The deliciously dark work of Eliza Clark I’ve read both of Clark’s novels this year: Boy Parts and Penance. She’s like Bret Easton Ellis, if Bret Easton Ellis wrote about Gen Zers living in Newcastle. Clark was named one of Granta’s Best Young British Novelists this year. She’s not for the faint-hearted, but I don’t suspect many faint-hearted people are subscribed to this newsletter. Happy reading!

This lovely conversation about JOMO That’s the Joy of Missing Out. We’ve been discussing it this week in the All is Well, My Darling community. Turns out, quite a lot of us are enjoying Christmas parties for one, on the sofa, in front of Netflix.

Writing my Telegraph column about Taylor Swift My editor asked me if I fancied explaining the appeal of Swift after she was named Time Person of the Year this week. “Gladly!” I replied, before furiously penning 1,200 words that say: you may not be a Swiftie, but you should be very glad your daughter is. (This is an exclusive sneak peak for you - it doesn’t go into the newspaper until tomorrow but they’ve let me link to it here early). I wrote this partly because I’m so sick of (mostly) middle-aged men saying they “don’t get her” (without ever for a moment considering if they’re supposed to), and self-titled music experts proclaiming that she’s a businesswoman, not a proper artist. Just an idea: go and listen to your Bob Dylan bootlegs and let us celebrate our Queen in peace.

Lots of love,

Bryony xx